Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Dont Agree with or Like or Trust

Foreword by Peter Block ix
Preface xvii
Introduction: How to Work with People
You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust 1

1: Collaboration Is Becoming More
Necessary and More Difficult 5
“I could never work with those people!” 5
Te enemyfying syndrome 7
Te central challenge of collaboration 9

2: Collaboration Is Not the Only Option 11
T e way forward is unclear 12
“T e miraculous option is that we work things
through together” 12
T ere are three alternatives to collaboration 15
Collaboration must be a choice 18

3: Conventional, Constricted Collaboration
Is Becoming Obsolete 25
Constriction prevents movement 25
Change management assumes control 26
“T ere is only one right answer” 29
T e limitations of conventional collaboration 31
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4: Unconventional, Stretch Collaboration
Is Becoming Essential 39
Stretching creates f exibility and discomfort 39
How to end a civil war 41
Stretch collaboration abandons the illusion of control 46
5: The First Stretch Is to Embrace
Conflict and Connection 49
Dialogue is not enough 49
T ere is more than one whole 55
Every holon has two drives 59
Alternate power and love 61

6: The Second Stretch Is to Experiment
a Way Forward 69
We cannot control the future, but we can inf uence it 69
We are crossing the river by feeling for stones 75
Creativity requires negative capability 80
Listen for possibility rather than for certainty 82

7: The Third Stretch Is to Step into the Game 89
“T ey need to change!” 90
If you’re not part of the problem, you can’t be
part of the solution 93
Be a pig rather than a chicken 96
Conclusion: How to Learn to Stretch 99

Notes 109
Acknowledgements 115
Index 118
About the Author 126
About Reos Partners 128
A Note from the Artist, Jef Barnum 130